Several days had passed after a huge confrontation , my mind and my conscious were never back to normal. I dont want to turn off the light during at night. I keep staring at the door as if waiting for someone to get caught with my very OWN naked eyes . My sickness and habit became worse and worse . Ohhh..what a poor thing! I am not sure anymore if my life will ever gonna change again, or perhaps my nightmare will stay with me forever . I am afraid ,angry ,worried ,stress ,bothered . I have an endless night wondering what is really happening to us . Why is this happening again? I thought i overcome and escape my outmost traggic experienced in my entire life, but it ! I hate it ..as if my life will stay this way forever and ever.. i am hurt, my daughter too..

My precious Izelle keep asking me "why?" "what is wrong?" "why can't you sleep?" "why are you hurting yourself?"

I dont know...i dont really know.
Who knows ...maybe YOU know..tell me why.

maybe im CRRRRAAZZZYYYyyy????